December 1, already?

I got up at 2 am this morning with the dog, and on the way back to bed I looked at the clock and realized that it was December, I then found my mind racing of what had been accomplished this year and what was left to do and lay in bed for over an hour just thinking.

After 7am, I read a lengthy post on Facebook (my Facebook is intentionally off from 10 pm to 7 am) from a friend celebrating their 33rd wedding anniversary. She wrote of the good and bad they had experienced together during their journey, and this brought another flood of thoughts and emotions to me. I had attended this wedding 33 years ago with my first husband, while just a few months pregnant with our daughter. We gave the bride and groom spaghetti, sauce, a pan and a strainer as a gift. We knew they were moving several states away, and if they even had a pan probably had no idea where it might be. We thought a simple meal would be appreciated.

33 years....how much had happened in those years?

We welcomed our baby girl at the end of May, and our marriage unraveled. Several factors were in play and there is plenty of blame to be shared all around, but in the end we both gave up, not before moving away from the area for 18 months for quite possibly the best time in that marriage, then back to the state where we continued to make it implode. We divorced in December 1997, and in October 1999 he made the devastating choice to end his life, throwing chaos into what should have been our daughter's happiest times.

I had married a man, who to this day is a great friend, in the spring of that year and although the 15 years we were together were tumultuous at best, he was the best father and husband he knew how to be. His parents also were and are excellent grandparents, and for this I am extremely grateful.

In 2009 I moved to the city I now live to assist in careging for my mother and stepfather. In February 2011 my mother passed away, and March 2016 my stepfather. These were also turning points in relationships in my life, but one's I have very little regrets about.

Today I look back and see how everything happens for a reason, good and bad, and that everyone's paths are not destined to be the same, or even similar. We are a combination of our experiences and how we have chosen to deal with these things that we have encountered in our paths. Hoping that every situation assists in preparation for the next and that growth can happen if we allow it to.

That is all for today. But I have a goal for more frequent musings..let's see how I do.