Thinking twice about what and where you Donate

Its been an interesting year at my day job, and a part of this job involves accepting (or not) physical donations. When our office moved to a new space a year ago I/we made a decision to accept considerably fewer donations, and specifically only items that were needed at a specific time. For example: we always accept feminine hygiene, personal hygiene, clean good condition winter coats, and baby wipes; but not always incontinence products, all sizes of diapers, used sheets, or general clothing donations.

And why are we accepting fewer donations? Because first and foremost, I spent so much time and energy during the move throwing out items that people chose to donate instead of putting into the trash themselves.

I suppose I should have started witth what type of organization I work at, this might explain why physical donations are accepted in the first place. I work for a domestic violence and rape crises services agency. In addition we also run a safe shelter for individuals and single adult families experiencing domestic violence. Other services we focus on are for immigrants often also experiencing domestic violence and other emergencies most often housing and food insecure related. New immigrants from all parts of the world are frequently evicted without cause, or live in housing that doesn't meet minimum standards of habitability but don't know how or dare to advocate for themselves. We provide group and individual programs, services for children, an award winning financial literacy program with wrap around support, 24/7 hotline and physical response services to local hospitals and police stations, a supervised visitation program, housing advocates, and court advocates just to name a few of the services that are available.

We assist guests moving from our shelter, and clients obtaining safe housing with furniture and other necessities.

Here is my plea! Nobody wants your used linens, they provide no dignity, the animal shelters don't even accept them, why would people? We accepted comfortors from a nice hotel before we moved, out of a dozen, i was able to keep only 4, the rest were ripped and stained, so our dumpster was filled and we got to pay for the removal (illegal as textiles aren't supposed to be disposed of in our state). I don't want your threadbare towels either. Don't get angry or upset that we don't want your 10 year old toaster or coffee maker, they are gross. So is your used plasticware, bent partial set of silverware, and dented pots and pans from your camp. I can't accept your 3 garbage bags full of size 6 clothes, why? You continue to ask me. Because people walk through the door of all sizes, i only have so much room to put out clothes. And in the past, out of 3 bags of clothing, at least one full bag of them was stained, ripped/torn, inappropriate, underwear, smelly, out of season, or missing pieces. My agency doesn't have the luxury of extra staff to go through these clothes, or space to store them until I might have the time.

We do however have several agencies, churches, and other groups in our city and county that have the space and volunteers or employees to manage clothing, I keep a list with phone numbers and hours they are open that I pass along when people call. Sometimes I get a good response, more often than you would imagine a hang up, or nasty comment. I also accept certain items, like winter coats of all sizes in fall and winter, although I do prefer that they are clean. Raincoats in spring and summer. I take winter boots in season, and hiking style boots, and sneakers in good condition all year long. I accept small amounts of season appropriate clean clothing in good condition like pants and shirts; new underwear; new braletts; new sports bras; new normal socks not the kind people give for Christmas gifts but cannot really be worn with shoes. Sweatshirts all year long, hoodies zipper and without are preferable. Nobody at my type of organization wants/ needs a prom gown, but there are groups every year that collect large amounts of them and let girls shop for them. An organization needs around 50 dresses of various sizes and styles to make this work, i dont have room for 50 of anything more than socks, underwear, gloves and hats. They also usually collect shoes and jewelry. Strappy sandals aren't usually worn to work for our clients. The same goes for work attire, people dont wear suits to work anymore, if your work attire is 10 years old, consign it, or give it to a dress for success program. That 50+ item rule applies here like the prom dress one.

When I do want or need furniture it needs to be clean and fairly neutral if possible. No sleeper sofas or adjustable beds, I'm in my mid 50's and I have one maintenance person, we are the moving company, those item's are impossible to carry. Wooden furniture like tables and dresers should have functional drawers, a solid top, nonpeeling veneers, all of the handles and they should match. When someone has a wish list, it is just that a wish list. Their teenage child may be too large for a twin bed, most apartments are too small for king sized beds, this is why full and queen size are asked for the most. Often, a parent will only have a queen bed and will co-sleep with their children. Apartments frequently don't have ceiling lights which is why people ask for lamps. Cable TV is an expensive luxury, but internet is a necessity for many reasons so smart TV's are essential. I have driven to a pickup, after renting a uhaul, and the pictures and/or descriptions were deceptive only to turn around because the items were junk, the items were gone (yes this has happened several times in the past 6 months), or I picked up the items because a client was expecting them, but I injured myself because I wasn't told about the bed or sofa, yes now i ask every time, or we had to dispose of the items because of the condition. I'm also really trying not to pick up, but that is for another day.

Back to the hygiene related items, When you call and ask your local agency, be honest about what you have, or ask what they need. For some reason people keep dropping off incontinence pads, these aren't period pads. More people ask for tampons than pads. Childrens items are often forgotten or omitted. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash are best in size 16-24 oz containers; easy to carry, but gets many uses. Dove is the only brand of bar soap people ask for by brand name. Seasonal hand soap in the off season is just cruel. The most asked for sizes of diapers continue to be size 4 or 5 and up, and we give a package of wipes with every pack of diapers. Household cleaning products and laundry aren't covered by SNAP benefits. Laundry pods and dryer sheets are easier to carry than large bottles of liquid.

I know this will make some people angry or frustrated. But isn't it better that someone tells you before you continue to embarrass yourself or frustrate the non-profits in your area?